right now i can stare at any inanimate object for hours on end. ok maybe not hours, as i tend to exaggerate about things. my boyfriend once said during one heated argument that i tend to be very dramatic. voice quivering and as theatrical as possible, i shouted back just because your dim ex-girlfriend was a doormat doesn’t mean the rest of womankind is as lifeless and boring. i’m crazy and my life is full of drama and this is why you love me!
ladies and gentlemen: the weight of words.
the afternoon is turning gray and if it weren’t for the tick-tacking of my fingers and keyboards, i could almost hear the whole world yawn. it’s a perfect day for yawning.
thoughts and feelings are consuming me faster these days. i don’t think my mind can keep up. while washing the dishes or writing down messages in our office logbook, i’d catch myself blurting out my thoughts to no one in particular. i know i’m weird but even that begs for an examination. i’m used to blurting out phrases in public, but never on a daily basis.
ladies and gentlemen: a candidate for mental rehab.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
parallel universe
so things have a weird way of working out. what the hell am I saying? nothing has worked its way out yet…
living here is like a dream (though a good friend of mine would argue as he finds the word vacation more apt). was it anais nin who said dreams and reality are interdependent? it hits me every time i realize this is my life now. it flows with ease like water smoothing out bumps and rough surfaces that come along the way. if i give this up and settle back in the city, will i be able to wade gracefully back into the normalcy of things? or will i shrivel up like an old piece of grape, devoid of water and life and all sweet matter in between?
the thought makes me sink deeper into the covers, as if the universe under my blanket could provide me with answers.
14.01.06
just hours ago I got a peek into a parallel universe - and it became one of the best nights of my life.
thank you.
13.01.06
can the void within us ever be filled?
like a blank canvass, my mind still refuses to speak up. my heart is pounding silently. i knew the time would come, the question was when. today it obviously has.
just like that.
tell me – i fucking told you so.
12.01.06
living here is like a dream (though a good friend of mine would argue as he finds the word vacation more apt). was it anais nin who said dreams and reality are interdependent? it hits me every time i realize this is my life now. it flows with ease like water smoothing out bumps and rough surfaces that come along the way. if i give this up and settle back in the city, will i be able to wade gracefully back into the normalcy of things? or will i shrivel up like an old piece of grape, devoid of water and life and all sweet matter in between?
the thought makes me sink deeper into the covers, as if the universe under my blanket could provide me with answers.
14.01.06
~
words move in mysterious ways. they alter your state of being and sometimes, the course of events.just hours ago I got a peek into a parallel universe - and it became one of the best nights of my life.
thank you.
13.01.06
~
rain will fall like tears tonight.can the void within us ever be filled?
like a blank canvass, my mind still refuses to speak up. my heart is pounding silently. i knew the time would come, the question was when. today it obviously has.
just like that.
tell me – i fucking told you so.
12.01.06
Thursday, January 12, 2006
spinning
these past few months i have been responding to things in a purely spontaneous manner. i felt blood drain out of me from over-thinking the last year and a half of my life that my mind has learned to shut down on its own. and because i have been feeling and swimming in my emotions, i am having the most baffling time attempting to answer questions that need to be asked. like “what the hell am I doing” and “where am I still not trusting life”.
i can only eat a plate of banana sour cream pancakes (my latest comfort food) and ponder the whole day, inexorably gulping down the last bit without arriving to any conclusion. for the first time in my life i considered seeing a shrink, only to see if she can get those answers from me. but if I cannot do it for myself then who can? the vastness and variety of events that occurred in the last few days has left me in a state of weird confusion. i can say i am happy. in fact, happier than i have been in a long while. but as much as i would love to stay in this suspended state of happiness, the situation calls for a leap.
common sense is not so common these days you see. if only answers can come clear as the sky on a cloudless day then i’d be flying.
i can only eat a plate of banana sour cream pancakes (my latest comfort food) and ponder the whole day, inexorably gulping down the last bit without arriving to any conclusion. for the first time in my life i considered seeing a shrink, only to see if she can get those answers from me. but if I cannot do it for myself then who can? the vastness and variety of events that occurred in the last few days has left me in a state of weird confusion. i can say i am happy. in fact, happier than i have been in a long while. but as much as i would love to stay in this suspended state of happiness, the situation calls for a leap.
common sense is not so common these days you see. if only answers can come clear as the sky on a cloudless day then i’d be flying.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
sea glass
you are my bedtime thought, the one that lulls me to sleep. tell me, what is it about you that draws me near? closer each day, yet further apart we breathe. you are my night sky - all clouds, all stars, all moon.
desire burns eagerly for what it can’t have. your eyes bring me to where I am and where we’re not. i am without you and forever with you. i'm blissfully stranded on your island, like sea glass shimmering in the sand.
desire burns eagerly for what it can’t have. your eyes bring me to where I am and where we’re not. i am without you and forever with you. i'm blissfully stranded on your island, like sea glass shimmering in the sand.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
moonswept
i had work the next day but then the full moon was out, the air a mystic blue, the ocean waves lapping at my feet, how can i waste that on sleep?
three pineapple rhums, a mango shake and one cup of coffee later i am struggling to keep myself awake. you don't have to ask, the answer is yes - i am definitely doing it again :)
three pineapple rhums, a mango shake and one cup of coffee later i am struggling to keep myself awake. you don't have to ask, the answer is yes - i am definitely doing it again :)
Sunday, November 13, 2005
sunset sailing
sailing in pink waters, i watched as the sky turned purple. parallel to the horizon, i let myself go, floating in the wind. the sun painted the clouds a startling red, like a neon sky on fire. up ahead the moon juts out of the sky like a pearl, precious in its oyster shell. no words to speak as I lie in wonder, an astonishing stillness settling over me. so close to nature, I am one with the sky, moon and sea.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
serendipity and other miracles
each day is truly a blessing.
you wake up to a bright sky, like a blue canvass waiting to be painted. you let the sun kiss your face and the wind cool your skin. you've been overcome by disappointment, and for a moment you felt defeat invade you from within. but on this island you've learned to let go. to free things that burden the mind and constrict the soul. in doing so you've created space where love can frow freely. the heaven sees this and blessings fall like rain, kind words you least expect and heartfelt thoughts that inspire immensely. most of all, friends made by serendipity.
you lift your face to the sky and wait for the sunset to paint it pink..orange..purple.
you wake up to a bright sky, like a blue canvass waiting to be painted. you let the sun kiss your face and the wind cool your skin. you've been overcome by disappointment, and for a moment you felt defeat invade you from within. but on this island you've learned to let go. to free things that burden the mind and constrict the soul. in doing so you've created space where love can frow freely. the heaven sees this and blessings fall like rain, kind words you least expect and heartfelt thoughts that inspire immensely. most of all, friends made by serendipity.
you lift your face to the sky and wait for the sunset to paint it pink..orange..purple.
Monday, October 10, 2005
sunsets and sandcastles
it was four in the afternoon when camille, sheila and i walked to beach for some chips and pineapple rum. we watched as the sky turned gray and rays of pale golden light shot through clouds heavy with rain. it was an eerily beautiful sunset. when joey, the red pirate, and his sailboat docked right before dark, the rain came and we all huddled in our favorite beach shack. turned out there was another birthday party at red pirates and we ended up joining the feast. needless to say it was another night of good food in the company of good friends.
~
right before midnight we arrived at summer place where we lost ourselves to reggae and the divine voice of karl roy. as he ended with his own rendition of peter frampton's "baby i love your way" with U2's "with or without you", we danced our way out to the beach where the seabreeze quenched our warm skins. the tide was up and a majestic looking sandcastle was laid out before us. urged by camille, the powerpuff girls plunged into the sandcastle - spires, towers and all. we kicked and dove into the creamy structure until we were covered with sand, giggling like schoolgirls, unmindful of anyone else.
that night i went home sandy and happy :)
Thursday, September 29, 2005
once on this island
woke up to a sky blue morning...drank wine with my feet in soft white sand...waves lapping at my knees. all the stars were out.
much love.
my first birthday on the island :)
much love.
my first birthday on the island :)
Sunday, September 18, 2005
fear falling
melancholy came knocking on my door right after college - what i considered were the best years of my existence. college was my first time to leave home, live independently and make decisions which would later change the course of my life. those melancholic nights that came after were constantly filled with nostalgia. like a bad hangover, it wouldn't leave. no amount of banana milkshakes and pain reliever could cure. i found solace in old letters and snapshots which faded throughout the years. it was probably the main theme of my quarter life crisis. i poured all my energy into my new job in order to avoid the erratic episodes of misery and depression. but no matter how hard i tried, it caught up. so i started looking for alternatives. a detour. an escape from the habitual flow of things. so once again i write...
this is why i travel...to escape from a life that family and friends see fit. to slip away from a society that tells you to have babies soon because your biological clock is tick-tocking louder and the neighbours are listening. where girlfriends greet you with looks of feigned concern when they say you should put on a few more pounds, patting your shoulders and nodding their heads sadly like they would if somebody's dog had died. perplexed why my physical state deserves an editorial, a smile is all i could offer to keep myself from screaming. why do they care how a person should look? i eat what i want & i'm damn happy to fit nicely in my bikini. i can't help but wonder, when did people start losing touch with things that really matter?oh don't get me wrong. i love my home, stifling as it may be at times. but always inside me is a yearning that can only be pacified by the sound of the ocean, the indescribable feeling of being in a strange place, the sight of bright pink sunsets and night skies spattered with a thousand stars...
this was written 11 months ago. today i am in a place where crickets chirp endlessly at five in the afternoon. where i can experience the moonset and sunrise at the same time.today i am here. but it wasn't an easy ride. i spent weeks each year escaping to far off places, collecting moments of discoveries and sheer pleasure. but it took me years to gather enough courage to unlock the key that kept me chained to the ground. this time raised eyebrows, discouraging protests, and wild horses couldn't keep me away.
my third month on the island and counting. it is heaven on earth and paradise with rain. it's not all magic and romance, life is also at work here. there are days when the monsoon winds prove just a bit too much and the mud unforgivable. but my pink sunsets and star filled skies come in between. and like a thorn removed, i realized i no longer have that hangover.the island has become my banana milkshake. though we are still trying to get to know each other, i've come to call her home. i no longer feel the need to run away. now i'm just running. with the wind, sea and sky. defying my fears. defying gravity.
this is why i travel...to escape from a life that family and friends see fit. to slip away from a society that tells you to have babies soon because your biological clock is tick-tocking louder and the neighbours are listening. where girlfriends greet you with looks of feigned concern when they say you should put on a few more pounds, patting your shoulders and nodding their heads sadly like they would if somebody's dog had died. perplexed why my physical state deserves an editorial, a smile is all i could offer to keep myself from screaming. why do they care how a person should look? i eat what i want & i'm damn happy to fit nicely in my bikini. i can't help but wonder, when did people start losing touch with things that really matter?oh don't get me wrong. i love my home, stifling as it may be at times. but always inside me is a yearning that can only be pacified by the sound of the ocean, the indescribable feeling of being in a strange place, the sight of bright pink sunsets and night skies spattered with a thousand stars...
this was written 11 months ago. today i am in a place where crickets chirp endlessly at five in the afternoon. where i can experience the moonset and sunrise at the same time.today i am here. but it wasn't an easy ride. i spent weeks each year escaping to far off places, collecting moments of discoveries and sheer pleasure. but it took me years to gather enough courage to unlock the key that kept me chained to the ground. this time raised eyebrows, discouraging protests, and wild horses couldn't keep me away.
my third month on the island and counting. it is heaven on earth and paradise with rain. it's not all magic and romance, life is also at work here. there are days when the monsoon winds prove just a bit too much and the mud unforgivable. but my pink sunsets and star filled skies come in between. and like a thorn removed, i realized i no longer have that hangover.the island has become my banana milkshake. though we are still trying to get to know each other, i've come to call her home. i no longer feel the need to run away. now i'm just running. with the wind, sea and sky. defying my fears. defying gravity.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
my peace
in a way, i've always been burdened by the past. i refuse to let some things go, afraid that if i do, it would change my entire being. and i've always been cautious about tomorrow, careful not to divulge my hopes or speak for fear of rejection. so everyday, i cling to my past and sleep with thoughts of the future at night.
but i do believe that change is good for the soul.
as a child i tormented my mother with torn pajamas from climbing trees and picking up fights with the neighbourhood boys. come to think of it, this was probably why she ignored my pleas for karate lessons and stuffed me in ballet shoes instead. my teenage and college years revolved around competitive and adventure sports - swimming, running marathons and rowing gave me my natural high. a restless creature, i was not one to stay still. until one day, i did. i sat down on a black cushioned revolving chair and the office became my world for six exciting and tiring years.
that part of my life is over, thank God. i still swim, floating a bit more this time. i still run, no longer racing after others. it took me a long while before i could calm down and breathe normally again. my life isn't perfect but i savor every moment - every flower that blooms unexpectedly, every rare good thing that comes along the way and every sadness brought by things that are not meant to be, all these i now embrace. not the past, not the future, but the present.
in an unexpected move, i'm now taking yoga and loving every minute. as i chant om shanti...i feel peace. peace that comes with the faint scent of the ocean and the amber glow of each sunset. peace that comes from the stillness of being. peace that comes from my heart.
but i do believe that change is good for the soul.
as a child i tormented my mother with torn pajamas from climbing trees and picking up fights with the neighbourhood boys. come to think of it, this was probably why she ignored my pleas for karate lessons and stuffed me in ballet shoes instead. my teenage and college years revolved around competitive and adventure sports - swimming, running marathons and rowing gave me my natural high. a restless creature, i was not one to stay still. until one day, i did. i sat down on a black cushioned revolving chair and the office became my world for six exciting and tiring years.
that part of my life is over, thank God. i still swim, floating a bit more this time. i still run, no longer racing after others. it took me a long while before i could calm down and breathe normally again. my life isn't perfect but i savor every moment - every flower that blooms unexpectedly, every rare good thing that comes along the way and every sadness brought by things that are not meant to be, all these i now embrace. not the past, not the future, but the present.
in an unexpected move, i'm now taking yoga and loving every minute. as i chant om shanti...i feel peace. peace that comes with the faint scent of the ocean and the amber glow of each sunset. peace that comes from the stillness of being. peace that comes from my heart.
Monday, September 05, 2005
tagged
Seven things I love the most:
(1) the ocean
(2) the moon
(3) traveling
(4) saltwater on my skin
(5) the smell of freshly baked bread
(6) my pajamas
(7) the idea of greece
Seven random facts about me:
(1) i love rice
(2) i want to go on a no chicken diet
(3) i've never fainted in whole life & sometimes fantasized about it
(4) i dream every single night
(5) i want to be a ballerina or a stage actor in my next life
(6) i'm ticklish
(7) i still cry whenever i leave home
Seven things I plan to do before I die:
(1) live in italy for a few months, learn the language
(2) swim with dolphins
(3) morocco, india, paris, portugal, thailand, vietnam...
(4) hanglide in rio de janeiro
(5) dance the flamenco in spain
(6) share a kiss under moonlight in paris
(7) have babies
Seven things I can do:
(1) swim like a fish
(2) row a scull
(3) drink rum..lots of it
(4) climb trees
(5) eat 3 cups of rice in one sitting..maybe even 4
(6) fight
(7) cook
Seven things I can't do:
(1) raise one eyebrow at a time
(2) cartwheel
(3) hula hoop
(4) hold my tears
(5) hide my joy & sadness
(6) act - as in act like a movie star
(7) crosstitch (thank heavens..)
Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
(1) eyes that speak
(2) the ability to laugh at oneself
(3) spontaneity (with a dash of craziness)
(4) love & respect for nature
(5) strength & humility
(6) wonderful sense of humor
(7) faith
Seven crushes (whether local or foreign or nonexistent):
(1) johnny depp in edward scissorhands
(2) johnny depp in blow
(3) johnny depp in chocolat
(4) johnny depp as my boyfriend
(5) kate beckinsale
(6) the guy i saw in sydney's town square station
(7) him
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
strange currencies
we can always talk about the stars tonight
or watch the setting moon.
we can lie awake in our beds again
until the morning light whispers sleep.
and while our thoughts dance in the same ocean
we are islands away.
bound by fragile threads
you and i
we can only dream.
in the space between our complex lives
i find the strangest comfort
that warms my soul
and tears my heart.
i have found and lost.
celestial beings, we are light years apart.
or watch the setting moon.
we can lie awake in our beds again
until the morning light whispers sleep.
and while our thoughts dance in the same ocean
we are islands away.
bound by fragile threads
you and i
we can only dream.
in the space between our complex lives
i find the strangest comfort
that warms my soul
and tears my heart.
i have found and lost.
celestial beings, we are light years apart.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
gentle giants
it was almost three months ago when we flew from manila to legaspi city. it was 7 in the morning, the air still crisp as we got off the plane. the beautiful mount mayon greeted us in all her sleepy splendor. immediately after taking photos of mayon, we boarded a rented van which took us to see another giant. next stop - donsol.
a fishing town located two hours from legaspi, the place was undisturbed by tourists until a few years back. midway through the drive, it started to rain, remnants of a tropical storm that blew past the region. we arrived at donsol, unpacked our gear & boarded the waiting bancas while the rain poured unforgivingly. the outrigger boat, though big, was uncomfortably narrow. while my four companions chatted cheerfully, i sat on the far end corner and tried my best not to look terrified. i was comforted after our BIO, alan, told us not to expect any sightings due to the rough weather conditions. great, i thought. who'd be crazy enough to jump in the choppy waters anyway.
apparently, i was. after circling the bay for over an hour, a cry from alan woke us up. hearts pounding, we donned our flippers, pulled our masks down & bit on our snorkels anxiously. there was no time to be scared as we were told to jump over the port side. of all the tips i got from the veteran divers, the simplest one stuck - follow your BIO like a gut. fighting the waves, i swam after the only thing i could see - alan's neon shorts. he grabbed my elbow and pointed me in the right direction.
i looked down and there she was- my first whale shark.
i was screaming & laughing like a crazed fan, i couldn't help myself. i swam on top of the butanding, the discovery channel image of a lone skindiver floating gracefully with a whale shark etched on my mind. i was swimming with the world's biggest fish, amazed how a creature so big can be so gentle.
(to be continued when writer is in the mood to finish travelogue...)
a fishing town located two hours from legaspi, the place was undisturbed by tourists until a few years back. midway through the drive, it started to rain, remnants of a tropical storm that blew past the region. we arrived at donsol, unpacked our gear & boarded the waiting bancas while the rain poured unforgivingly. the outrigger boat, though big, was uncomfortably narrow. while my four companions chatted cheerfully, i sat on the far end corner and tried my best not to look terrified. i was comforted after our BIO, alan, told us not to expect any sightings due to the rough weather conditions. great, i thought. who'd be crazy enough to jump in the choppy waters anyway.
apparently, i was. after circling the bay for over an hour, a cry from alan woke us up. hearts pounding, we donned our flippers, pulled our masks down & bit on our snorkels anxiously. there was no time to be scared as we were told to jump over the port side. of all the tips i got from the veteran divers, the simplest one stuck - follow your BIO like a gut. fighting the waves, i swam after the only thing i could see - alan's neon shorts. he grabbed my elbow and pointed me in the right direction.
i looked down and there she was- my first whale shark.
i was screaming & laughing like a crazed fan, i couldn't help myself. i swam on top of the butanding, the discovery channel image of a lone skindiver floating gracefully with a whale shark etched on my mind. i was swimming with the world's biggest fish, amazed how a creature so big can be so gentle.
(to be continued when writer is in the mood to finish travelogue...)
Sunday, July 10, 2005
through thick & thin
it's been weeks. moving to an island, starting a new job, living on my own, getting terribly sick in the process - these are things i just went through. it was scary, exciting, nerve wracking & thought provoking to say at the very least. well, that is life.
i started with a different blog in mind. but opening an email from a friend who's written weeks ago changed the direction of my thoughts & fingers as a new emotion took over. some of us are lucky to have friends who've already become family. friends we've had since we were kids, who can easily understand the words that come out of our food-stuffed mouths and remember our first kiss' every detail like it happened yesterday.
but most of all we are lucky to have friends who need us.
take this friend for example. she was the first one to hear all the icky details of that first kiss, the friend who kept the love letters from my cabinet raiding mom, the girl i've fought with a dozen times & the one who eventually drifted away during the years. there were instances i almost gave up on her, convinced that there was nothing else i could do to make things better. only to realize much later that we were in charge of our own separate lives, that we were no longer kids. more importantly, realize that she wasn't alone in the drifting department - i was there too.
now we're slowly retracing our steps. after all, the people we needed when we were young & clueless are the same folks we need when we are not-so-young & reckless. in the midst of crossroads, broken hearts & new relationships, i offered my shoulder & some advice. again. convinced this time that there is hope, that a person like this one was not meant to be given up on. and i was right. my shoulder was cried on & my words were embraced, like a long lost friend.
it may sound funny, but the truth is glaring. we need our friends to need us. just as much as we need them.
* * *
i started with a different blog in mind. but opening an email from a friend who's written weeks ago changed the direction of my thoughts & fingers as a new emotion took over. some of us are lucky to have friends who've already become family. friends we've had since we were kids, who can easily understand the words that come out of our food-stuffed mouths and remember our first kiss' every detail like it happened yesterday.
but most of all we are lucky to have friends who need us.
take this friend for example. she was the first one to hear all the icky details of that first kiss, the friend who kept the love letters from my cabinet raiding mom, the girl i've fought with a dozen times & the one who eventually drifted away during the years. there were instances i almost gave up on her, convinced that there was nothing else i could do to make things better. only to realize much later that we were in charge of our own separate lives, that we were no longer kids. more importantly, realize that she wasn't alone in the drifting department - i was there too.
now we're slowly retracing our steps. after all, the people we needed when we were young & clueless are the same folks we need when we are not-so-young & reckless. in the midst of crossroads, broken hearts & new relationships, i offered my shoulder & some advice. again. convinced this time that there is hope, that a person like this one was not meant to be given up on. and i was right. my shoulder was cried on & my words were embraced, like a long lost friend.
it may sound funny, but the truth is glaring. we need our friends to need us. just as much as we need them.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
live it, love it
time slows down when i'm in hong kong. i step out of the hotel & into the heart of kowloon. the never ending flurry of pedestrians and street hawkers are like an orchestra, their footsteps and banter the symphony. the city seems peaceful, in a matrix kind of way.
so walk walk walk i go. restraint was far more exercised than my legs though. apart from eating and bits of sightseeing, what else is there to do but shop. hk's no longer a bargain haven but the dizzying window displays make me think otherwise. at the end of the day, there's nothing like a good walk to clear my head.
***
everytime i travel, i make it a point to walk down side streets, areas that are far removed from the center. this is where the unforgettable cup of cappucino is found or the best mojitos are served. streets that are lined with shops, bars, cafes and the occasional library that seem content where they are. soho & staunton have just been added to this personal collection.
i love cities that never sleep. streets are much more appealing at night. the glare of neon lights and empty buses that drive past, somehow i find all these comforting. but that's just me.
so walk walk walk i go. restraint was far more exercised than my legs though. apart from eating and bits of sightseeing, what else is there to do but shop. hk's no longer a bargain haven but the dizzying window displays make me think otherwise. at the end of the day, there's nothing like a good walk to clear my head.
***
everytime i travel, i make it a point to walk down side streets, areas that are far removed from the center. this is where the unforgettable cup of cappucino is found or the best mojitos are served. streets that are lined with shops, bars, cafes and the occasional library that seem content where they are. soho & staunton have just been added to this personal collection.
i love cities that never sleep. streets are much more appealing at night. the glare of neon lights and empty buses that drive past, somehow i find all these comforting. but that's just me.
Monday, May 02, 2005
my lola's birthday
yesterday we celebrated my lola's birthday. she's 86 and smiling. the home where my mother grew up was filled with a crowd of smiling lolas. we arrived a few minutes before noon, hungry & just in time for the feast that awaited us.
sister - marami bang bisita si lola?
mom - siyempre her senior citizen friends...
sister - YES...mahinang kumain
needless to say my sister was proven wrong. like a swarm of bees, the whole senior citizen population of digos city surrounded the food laden table. like the good kids that we are, my cousins & i patiently waited for our turn. mind you, they paid no heed to arthritis & increasing blood pressure. it was their friend's birthday and they were going to celebrate it like they used to, with good food.
the last guest left at around 3 in the afternoon. my lola clearly enjoyed herself. who wouldn't be? no matter how old you are, in the company of good friends, age is the last thing that matters.
sister - marami bang bisita si lola?
mom - siyempre her senior citizen friends...
sister - YES...mahinang kumain
needless to say my sister was proven wrong. like a swarm of bees, the whole senior citizen population of digos city surrounded the food laden table. like the good kids that we are, my cousins & i patiently waited for our turn. mind you, they paid no heed to arthritis & increasing blood pressure. it was their friend's birthday and they were going to celebrate it like they used to, with good food.
the last guest left at around 3 in the afternoon. my lola clearly enjoyed herself. who wouldn't be? no matter how old you are, in the company of good friends, age is the last thing that matters.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
all mine
i have this secret. there are days when i'd lose myself in yet another reverie. i'd float for hours like a song in my head.
but sometimes it just makes me feel like a small snake's trying to find its way out of my insides. it makes me go "gaaaaaah!" out loud even in the most public places. i've been doing it a lot of times lately that i've become immune to people's stares.
it's embarrasing but i can't help it. i'm weird that way.
but today i'm humming :)
but sometimes it just makes me feel like a small snake's trying to find its way out of my insides. it makes me go "gaaaaaah!" out loud even in the most public places. i've been doing it a lot of times lately that i've become immune to people's stares.
it's embarrasing but i can't help it. i'm weird that way.
but today i'm humming :)
Sunday, April 10, 2005
not so random thoughts
sometimes i want to move out & find a place of my own.
there are also times when i want nothing more than to sleep beside my mom at night.
sometimes i feel like getting married already, because then things would be so much easier. so much more practical. my boyfriend won't have to drive me home everyday.
but when i think of marriage, i ask myself - is this it?
sometimes i'm a bad person. i want things & think of things that would only complicate my simple life. you probably have bigger problems. everyone has bigger problems.
and then what?
there are also times when i want nothing more than to sleep beside my mom at night.
sometimes i feel like getting married already, because then things would be so much easier. so much more practical. my boyfriend won't have to drive me home everyday.
but when i think of marriage, i ask myself - is this it?
sometimes i'm a bad person. i want things & think of things that would only complicate my simple life. you probably have bigger problems. everyone has bigger problems.
and then what?
Sunday, April 03, 2005
insanity
it's summer once again and stars have become quite rare these days, or shall i say nights. which is why i long for boracay, bantayan or any other whitewashed island at this time of year, when stars dot the sky & sparkle like the ocean's bioluminescence. did you know that a star-filled sky is as potent as 6 glasses of mojitos? for me anyway. call me crazy but a blanket of stars & the sand on my back get me so...high. i've been asked "are you drunk?" on several occasions, judging from my seemingly puzzling euphoric behavior. i guess you need a bit of craziness in you to understand.
lately however, the moon is taking centerstage. last night it was huge. like a slice of lemon, the moon hung perfectly still, pale yellow against the midnight sky. it was so big it looked like i could reach out & grab it. they say all the crazy people run wild when the full moon's out. just like werewolves.
lately however, the moon is taking centerstage. last night it was huge. like a slice of lemon, the moon hung perfectly still, pale yellow against the midnight sky. it was so big it looked like i could reach out & grab it. they say all the crazy people run wild when the full moon's out. just like werewolves.
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