i am having an affair. i've fallen in love with my i-pod mini.
reasons why:
1. it keeps me company when everyone that matters is already asleep
2. for being agreeable & fuss-free (please stay that way).
3. puts me to sleep in the most romantic way possible (if i can't have sting sing 'someone to watch over me' night after night, i'll settle for my i-pod)
tiny & metallic blue, it is warm against my hip. if only all my relationships are as convenient, then i will be covered with warm fuzzy spots all over.
i am no techie.
i'm just a sentimental fool.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
nuggets
ton is one of my best friends. sometimes he can be a bit weird, out of this world even and he likes to hear people say that about him. he's moody & quiet at times. also funny, sweet & mysteriously endearing.
meet nuggets - his teddy bear. a gift i gave him towards the end of freshman year in college. since we were studying in different cities, i wanted to give him someone who can keep him company, day and night. someone who can listen to his weird ramblings without leaving, someone he can take to the beach when i'm not around & just someone who'll accept his hugs unconditionally.
this is for you
do you realize that we've been friends for ten years? we've wondered and pondered about life's bullshits & mysteries, seen each other battle one angst after another and stared at the stars countless times. always, we run to each other in times of need to find comfort in silence only we can give. in the beginning, friends wondered and were even wary of this strange friendship. after all, it was hard for people to understand what they didn't have. i am always good at explaing things but since this has never bothered me, i never did. i find little need to explain matters that i hold dearly.
life after college was a different story. work happened, boyfriend & girlfriend came. at the back of my mind i knew i was being a lousy friend. gone were the nightly talks, star gazing, you visiting me at home & the quiet times we used to share. calls were replaced with emails and random text messages. visits came down to one-hour coffee talks whenever i felt the need to get away from my world. with a tremendous work schedule and a new relationship at hand, i felt my growing absence in our friendship was justified. until the day you left for san francisco.
so now i feel like a school girl once again, missing my best friend who's far away. i wonder about nuggets, if he still lives in your room, if he's balding, if he's sad as i am, missing his weird master who's out to conquer the world.
so after months & years of half-baked conversations, you don't know how happy i was talking to you this afternoon. we teased, laughed, annoyed & reviewed each other's lives that for a moment, our troubles didn't seem that bad. yes, we did make up for lost time :) for this i'm glad.
i hope you won't fade into the background like you always do when things get hectic. as we grow older, things move faster, situations get tougher, but the world will not stop for us. life isn't as sweet & simple as it was in college, but that shouldn't hinder us from each other. when conversations & actual times spent together become rare, that only makes what we have more special.
i miss stargazing with you the most. there is no one near right now who would willingly suffer neck pains for a few wonderful moments staring at the night sky. now, i do realize we won't be looking at the same constellations. but as long as we're looking at them like we used to, then everything's alright between us :)
meet nuggets - his teddy bear. a gift i gave him towards the end of freshman year in college. since we were studying in different cities, i wanted to give him someone who can keep him company, day and night. someone who can listen to his weird ramblings without leaving, someone he can take to the beach when i'm not around & just someone who'll accept his hugs unconditionally.
this is for you
do you realize that we've been friends for ten years? we've wondered and pondered about life's bullshits & mysteries, seen each other battle one angst after another and stared at the stars countless times. always, we run to each other in times of need to find comfort in silence only we can give. in the beginning, friends wondered and were even wary of this strange friendship. after all, it was hard for people to understand what they didn't have. i am always good at explaing things but since this has never bothered me, i never did. i find little need to explain matters that i hold dearly.
life after college was a different story. work happened, boyfriend & girlfriend came. at the back of my mind i knew i was being a lousy friend. gone were the nightly talks, star gazing, you visiting me at home & the quiet times we used to share. calls were replaced with emails and random text messages. visits came down to one-hour coffee talks whenever i felt the need to get away from my world. with a tremendous work schedule and a new relationship at hand, i felt my growing absence in our friendship was justified. until the day you left for san francisco.
so now i feel like a school girl once again, missing my best friend who's far away. i wonder about nuggets, if he still lives in your room, if he's balding, if he's sad as i am, missing his weird master who's out to conquer the world.
so after months & years of half-baked conversations, you don't know how happy i was talking to you this afternoon. we teased, laughed, annoyed & reviewed each other's lives that for a moment, our troubles didn't seem that bad. yes, we did make up for lost time :) for this i'm glad.
i hope you won't fade into the background like you always do when things get hectic. as we grow older, things move faster, situations get tougher, but the world will not stop for us. life isn't as sweet & simple as it was in college, but that shouldn't hinder us from each other. when conversations & actual times spent together become rare, that only makes what we have more special.
i miss stargazing with you the most. there is no one near right now who would willingly suffer neck pains for a few wonderful moments staring at the night sky. now, i do realize we won't be looking at the same constellations. but as long as we're looking at them like we used to, then everything's alright between us :)
Monday, January 17, 2005
what i love
the beach.
blue cloudless skies.
starlit nights.
photographs.
saltwater on my skin.
fresh strawberries.
mustard.
nigella lawson.
sarah mclachlan's songs.
sting's voice,
and seal's.
gelato.
cooking pasta.
la dolce vita.
rum.
rum with pineapple.
rum with iced tea.
tequila rose.
the vast www.
long drives.
reminiscing.
pink sunsets.
the smell of rain.
sleeping in.
great movies.
johnny depp.
my precious books.
irreplaceable friends.
wonderful family.
my sad, happy, weird & heartwarming collection of memories.
i'm feeling melancholic. so i shall say, i love you all :)
blue cloudless skies.
starlit nights.
photographs.
saltwater on my skin.
fresh strawberries.
mustard.
nigella lawson.
sarah mclachlan's songs.
sting's voice,
and seal's.
gelato.
cooking pasta.
la dolce vita.
rum.
rum with pineapple.
rum with iced tea.
tequila rose.
the vast www.
long drives.
reminiscing.
pink sunsets.
the smell of rain.
sleeping in.
great movies.
johnny depp.
my precious books.
irreplaceable friends.
wonderful family.
my sad, happy, weird & heartwarming collection of memories.
i'm feeling melancholic. so i shall say, i love you all :)
Saturday, January 15, 2005
blast from the past
i remembered...scribbled on a couple of white cube notes, tucked between yellowed sheets of a favorite book...i found and read it again after all these years. to what caused this sudden reminiscence, i cannot say.
then and now
i catch myself alone in your gaze
not knowing
how or why
your words haunt me still
like a slow flame
blue & brilliantly sad
so cold
like the night
you do not bare yourself to anyone
yet how i feel you inside me
like water
and fire
i do not know what to say
you are so distant
your eyes
lost among old feelings and words -
how can we forget?
my heart cannot understand you still
the years haven't uncovered anything
more than dried roses
and crumpled letters
i wonder if you love me
but the stars hide you
and the evening goes on
remembering.
for how long can you wait
if you start forgetting
that i'm here or there
always leaving before losing twilight
i find myself alone again.
the scariest thing about the past is that it's part of us. no matter where we go, how much of it we forgot, we carry it with us always.
like home-cooked dinner, good or bad, there will always be leftovers.
then and now
i catch myself alone in your gaze
not knowing
how or why
your words haunt me still
like a slow flame
blue & brilliantly sad
so cold
like the night
you do not bare yourself to anyone
yet how i feel you inside me
like water
and fire
i do not know what to say
you are so distant
your eyes
lost among old feelings and words -
how can we forget?
my heart cannot understand you still
the years haven't uncovered anything
more than dried roses
and crumpled letters
i wonder if you love me
but the stars hide you
and the evening goes on
remembering.
for how long can you wait
if you start forgetting
that i'm here or there
always leaving before losing twilight
i find myself alone again.
the scariest thing about the past is that it's part of us. no matter where we go, how much of it we forgot, we carry it with us always.
like home-cooked dinner, good or bad, there will always be leftovers.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
today
....is the first day of a new year. once again i open my journal & read through my entries. january 2001...january 2002...january 2003...okay. so it ends right there. for some forgettable reason, january 2004 is MISSING.
it has been a personal tradition on the first day of each year to read past entries in my orange & blue floral journal (please do not question my taste on this one - this notebook had been a gift). why i didn't jot anything down last year, i really don't remember.
one thing that i do know is this - 2004 was one big rollercoaster ride.
after a painfully slow quarter-life crisis that lasted for two years (gasp!), i plucked enough courage and insanity to leave my comfort zone. i woke up from a strange slumber where i dreamt of getting married at the age of 25. i shook my head with the realization that with all the life changes that i've gone through, so much of me is still the same. to travel and to live freely. it's what i've always wanted.
last year, i got to do just that. i left home and everything else in it for an exploratory trip that lasted for a month. i re-discovered my dreams and realized how much i needed to spend time with myself and experience things on my own. incidents proved once again that i am a complicated person. thus the complicated threads i've managed to weave into my life.
it was indeed a difficult year, but an exciting one just the same. with all the heartaches and goodbyes, life goes on.
as i read through my journals once again, i can only smile at the scared woman i was at that time. my battles are not over, but i'm proud of myself for having gone a long way. i have finally taken the first step in changing my life.
i still get scared at times, but i try my best to push these thoughts away. i must not give up on my dreams, no matter how silly or reckless they may seem to other people. i know that now.
p.s.
i've managed to slave my way through - it's almost 5 in the morning after all. this should more than make up for last year's missing entry. happy new year everyone :)
it has been a personal tradition on the first day of each year to read past entries in my orange & blue floral journal (please do not question my taste on this one - this notebook had been a gift). why i didn't jot anything down last year, i really don't remember.
one thing that i do know is this - 2004 was one big rollercoaster ride.
after a painfully slow quarter-life crisis that lasted for two years (gasp!), i plucked enough courage and insanity to leave my comfort zone. i woke up from a strange slumber where i dreamt of getting married at the age of 25. i shook my head with the realization that with all the life changes that i've gone through, so much of me is still the same. to travel and to live freely. it's what i've always wanted.
last year, i got to do just that. i left home and everything else in it for an exploratory trip that lasted for a month. i re-discovered my dreams and realized how much i needed to spend time with myself and experience things on my own. incidents proved once again that i am a complicated person. thus the complicated threads i've managed to weave into my life.
it was indeed a difficult year, but an exciting one just the same. with all the heartaches and goodbyes, life goes on.
as i read through my journals once again, i can only smile at the scared woman i was at that time. my battles are not over, but i'm proud of myself for having gone a long way. i have finally taken the first step in changing my life.
i still get scared at times, but i try my best to push these thoughts away. i must not give up on my dreams, no matter how silly or reckless they may seem to other people. i know that now.
blue christmas by abbytrysagain
so today, i can only hope for a better and brighter year ahead. one filled with more happy discoveries, new places to conquer and ultimately - la dolce vita. to live the bohemian life i've always dreamed about.p.s.
i've managed to slave my way through - it's almost 5 in the morning after all. this should more than make up for last year's missing entry. happy new year everyone :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
