good and bad

i'm pissed.

which is actually a good thing, considering just hours ago i was mad as hell. as much as i am aware of the insolence of people's weaknesses, i also believe in fate. that everything has a reason. right now, i just don't care what that is.

i had a wonderful weekend though. a long weekend celebrating my boyfriend's 30th birthday. with his brother & cousin who flew all the way from starbucks (believe me, they actually live there) we spent a quiet afternoon in one of my favorite hideaways - chema's by the sea. a tiny beach resort with lush gardens, lovely cabanas and a saltwater infinity pool all coated in silence. who would have thought that this place was just five minutes by boat from the city?



it doesn't end there. the next day, we were up at 6:00 am to take a another boat ride to a precious cove situated two hours away from the mad city crowd. instead of fine sands, the beach is made up of pebbles, white & peach, in all molds and sizes. the place is also a marine sanctuary, the abundance of corals and tropical fish is indeed an underwater sight to behold. being on that island is like being in the middle of nowhere. on one end, there are rock formations and two thatched huts for the occasional visitors. while on the other stands a nipa duplex where the caretaker and his family live.


manong caretaker - photo taken by martin (my boyfriend's brother

it's not the easiest place to get to, but it's definitely one of the best places to be in. once in a while we bring a kayak and spend the afternoon exploring the cove. mostly it's just floating on our backs until it's time to pack up.

how we live in stressful times. on some days though, life is a beach.

trenta años

my boyfriend is turning 30 tomorrow :)

like a debutante, he's been planning the big event for weeks. even when his birthday was still months away, i'd catch him saying to no one in particular "trenta na ako". like he was trying to fit it on for size. to which i would always reply teasingly "i'm going to have a 30 year old boyfriend!". he'd laugh and shake his head.

i remember being surrounded by the older people when we were kids. on family reunions, we listened to grown-up conversations about work, who the good teachers were and neighbours who've just moved in. we stared in curiousity as one of our uncles takes a swig, shiny brown bottle in his hand while our aunt brings in a fresh plate of pulutan. we looked up to them and thought, this is how it's going to be when we get older.

thirty after all is considered to be a man's ripe age for marriage. thirty meant having a one-year old child in a stroller and driving a three-year old toddler to playschool. yet as i look at my boyfriend of almost five years, i realize he's just an overgrown kid. even with a beer in hand, he doesn't look anything like my uncles. it's not just him. i look at myself, our friends and we don't look like the older people stored in my memories. or do we?

maybe in this age, we've come to realize the importance of youth. instead of marrying young, we've decided to explore paths which were left untrodden by our parents. we do not tie the knot with our high school sweethearts (although once in a while a lucky couple beat the odds). we journey far and wide, in hopes of achieving bigger dreams. we put marriage on hold but not romance - never romance. at least that's how i feel.

in spite of our relentless pursuit of personal goals, we embrace romance like our parents and grandparents did. for now, age limits have changed, but there are things that remain the same.

for now, i'm going to have a thirty-year old boyfriend. if this thought occured to a much much younger version of myself, the poor kid would probably suffer a nervous breakdown. now, i can only laugh and shake my head.