belonging

the funny thing about being home after traveling is how quickly every place else seems to be worlds away. how even the last destination fades quickly into motion, like a photographic blur. there is something disconcerting about knowing how the last place where you walked talked and lived only days before, could go on perfectly without you.

i have gone through all sorts of emotions while traveling. from the euphoric sense of being lost; the quiet peace that stems from knowing you are exactly where you're meant to be; to the momentary sense of alienation that disintegrates when you discover a strange familiarity in your new surroundings. but a new kind of emotion came to surface while i was traveling across north america. i found myself looking to belong.

i have always kept the wonder in me. it's what makes me see the world as i do. wherever i am, i know home is eventually a place i carry within. and so it comes to amaze me how on one wintery afternoon, i find myself taking this home right out of my heart and into my hands, wanting to place it down on solid ground.

it may be the fact that i have left my island exactly a year ago to go on a journey that required me to travel outside and within. while i haven't known any other place that has captured me intimately & immensely as this island has, i realize i am ready to sail on and leave its shores.

in all this wandering, i recognize elements of myself even in the most unfamiliar places. i pick them up one by one, as if puzzle pieces collected from my travels and because of this, i come back with a better picture of who i am.

the heart of a nomad. this tells me that i may never belong in one place. but as long as i know my self, then i'll never lose my way again.



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Now playing: Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson - Winter Song
via FoxyTunes

a very long engagement

what the heart imagines, life conjures. it is when pain does not numb the will to go on, nor kills the fire that burns in the coldest of nights. the inexplicable urge to hold on to something that keeps you alive even in its absence.

to find thyself is a very long engagement. to find the other half longer still. almost like memories that repeat itself through lifetimes, you see pieces of you in another and experience fleeting moments of perfection. isn't this what we all aim for? when we can finally be still, after running and walking and flying, have that one thing we were glad we fought for, see it through the light of the day and the dark of the night.


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Now playing: José González - Heartbeats
via FoxyTunes