the laws of nature

it's amazing what you wish for. even more amazing when you get it. today the sun shone, the blue skies came, the icicles around my heartstrings melted and just like that, it is summer once again.

i read somewhere that we don't only need to follow our dreams, we also need to have the faith that our dreams are moving towards us. the universe has a beautiful way of responding the minute we begin to crack our hearts open. the moment we begin to recognize the truth in our lives, surrendering to nature is a choice that we can no longer ignore. like stepping into summer's golden light.

it is now night. the sky is filled with stars and they stare at me, all at once warm, distant & unfamiliar. there's a mix of sadness and excitement breathing in the wildest corners of my soul. a dream begins to come alive, a bright new constellation unfolding in my universe.

path of the heart

When you open fully to your experience you discover how wonderful it is to be alive; sometimes funny, sometimes tragic, sometimes ordinary, sometimes sublime. You learn not to shut down when feelings become bothersome; to stay awake even when it’s unpleasant. This is the path of the heart: to develop tenderness toward yourself by opening to the wonders and complexities of your self, which allows you to open to the wonders and complexity of the world. - Dr. Gail Parker


i have been asking my self these days the big Why's (why can't it work this way, why can't it be...) and i realize that i really should stop questioning and start trusting. each time i question my own decisions, i plant a seed of doubt that makes me forget the reasons that have brought me here. it's so easy to give in to sadness especially if it's something that we've grown so used to in life. but when we've taken on a path of seeking & healing, we can no longer ignore our heart's desire to be happy.

one half of me has already started Exploring ~ moving forward with the intent of fully living out dreams which have been shelved for far too long. yet the other half of my self is still bleeding from the cut that it took to break away from the very things which have kept me bound. this must be what it means to be fully present, when we can sit with happy & sad and embrace both equally. when we can allow the sadness to pass through, as gracefully as we possibly can without fighting it. when we can remember joy or the hope of it, even in the darkest moments.

such is the path of the heart. to love both light & dark with gratitude & compassion.

what keeps me from shrinking back is the belief that there's no loss when love is truly present. it's a matter of expanding how we think love should be. love can't be limited to promises & relationships... to anniversaries & traditions. love is bigger than any of these. it's only when we begin to understand the hugeness of love that sadness no longer becomes threatening. like a dust of rain cloud in a vast blue sky.

LOVE is big.

where do i begin.

these past few days & weeks have been filled with so much.... love, friendship, support, endings, new beginnings, the promise of adventures, good vibes, deep connections & most of all freedom. sweet exhilarating freedom. i look back at my own past & i see how things do happen for a reason. i see how things are falling into place because i'm finally trusting life.

for a long time i've held on to so many things out of fear of losing control. i've silenced my own voice & crushed my own heart. now i realize how life unfolds perfectly when we surrender to its flow. all the baby steps i've taken to approach my edge, all the times i've cowered & ran back to my safe zone, all those were not in vain. i learned my own way. with all the pain, heartaches & tears it took, the process of becoming is beautiful. i see that now.

we can heal ourselves and we can change our life. we can stop feeling sad the moment we choose to be happy. we have to trust our heart & take risks. when we do things out of love, how can we go wrong? love is amazingly big. bigger than our imaginations combined. and we cannot control it, we can only learn & enjoy it.

i don't know what tomorrow brings and that's the magic of it. my heart is the boss of me now... i will let it lead me every step of the way. with my mind, arms & heart open, i'm stepping into the flow of grace with trust that life is unraveling beautifully.

finding my word

Nature does not hurry. Yet everything is accomplished. - Lao Tzu



my word came to me as i knew it would. Explore. one beautiful powerful seed that contains a universe of possibilities.

explore my dreams. explore new continents. explore a new life.

it's such a brave risk-taking word & i'm gathering all my courage to start living it. after all explore means leaving something behind. it means letting go.

i have let go of certain things in the past that have come back in my life. i ask myself is it fate working? or is it my refusal to completely release myself from the things that are holding me back? i ask because i find myself facing similar patterns and i wanna change that. i look back to the year that has passed & realize that when i set the intention to open myself to new possibilities, i was only really looking at specific outcomes. and so when that didn't pan out, i found myself going back to the place i had just left behind. it's kinda like getting your feet wet in the water & running back to shore when the water got too cold.

so this year i resolve to be a little less drastic, to allow myself to stay in the water & observe whatever arises. to explore this distrust & in doing so, find the root of it and completely let it go. like my dear friend & fellow wanderer said - embrace this uncertainty because it's a great reminder of your intention. embracing uncertainty doesn't mean stewing in it or settling, but really sitting with it face to face & getting to the bottom of things.

once again i'm reminded to trust grace completely. because the most important things in life shouldn't take too much effort to make it work. as my yoga practice is teaching me, it has to be a beautiful balance between effort & surrender. and like a voice guiding me in the dark, i trust that my word will take me here, to a place of balance & greater heights. most of all, to a place of trust.