path of the heart

When you open fully to your experience you discover how wonderful it is to be alive; sometimes funny, sometimes tragic, sometimes ordinary, sometimes sublime. You learn not to shut down when feelings become bothersome; to stay awake even when it’s unpleasant. This is the path of the heart: to develop tenderness toward yourself by opening to the wonders and complexities of your self, which allows you to open to the wonders and complexity of the world. - Dr. Gail Parker


i have been asking my self these days the big Why's (why can't it work this way, why can't it be...) and i realize that i really should stop questioning and start trusting. each time i question my own decisions, i plant a seed of doubt that makes me forget the reasons that have brought me here. it's so easy to give in to sadness especially if it's something that we've grown so used to in life. but when we've taken on a path of seeking & healing, we can no longer ignore our heart's desire to be happy.

one half of me has already started Exploring ~ moving forward with the intent of fully living out dreams which have been shelved for far too long. yet the other half of my self is still bleeding from the cut that it took to break away from the very things which have kept me bound. this must be what it means to be fully present, when we can sit with happy & sad and embrace both equally. when we can allow the sadness to pass through, as gracefully as we possibly can without fighting it. when we can remember joy or the hope of it, even in the darkest moments.

such is the path of the heart. to love both light & dark with gratitude & compassion.

what keeps me from shrinking back is the belief that there's no loss when love is truly present. it's a matter of expanding how we think love should be. love can't be limited to promises & relationships... to anniversaries & traditions. love is bigger than any of these. it's only when we begin to understand the hugeness of love that sadness no longer becomes threatening. like a dust of rain cloud in a vast blue sky.